Willow who?
by rougestorm
Summary: Willow has been betrayed, and Spike is the one there to comfort her. Make sure to tell me what you think by reviewing or emailing after you read the story! (It's getting a little fluffy! I might kill someone in the next chapter, depends on how I feel
1. I wanna disappear

Willow who?

_LOOK AT ME NOW  
GOT NO RELIGION  
LOOK AT ME NOW  
I'M SO VACANT  
LOOK AT ME NOW  
I WAS A VIRGIN  
LOOK AT ME NOW  
GREW UP TO BE A WHORE  
AND I WANT IT  
I BELIEVE IT  
I'M A MILLION DIFFERENT THINGS  
AND NOT ONE YOU KNOW _

_HEY AND OUR MOMMIES ARE LOST NOW  
HEY, DADDY'S SOMEONE ELSE  
HEY, WE LOVE THE ABUSE  
BECAUSE IT MAKES US FEEL LIKE WE ARE NEEDED NOW   
BUT I KNOW  
I WANNA DISAPPEAR _

_I WANNA DIE YOUNG  
AND SELL MY SOUL  
USE UP ALL YOUR DRUGS  
AND MAKE ME COME  
YESTERDAY MAN,  
I WAS A NIHILIST AND  
NOW TODAY I'M  
JUST TOO FUCKING BORED  
BY THE TIME I'M OLD ENOUGH   
I WON'T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL _

_HEY AND OUR MOMMIES ARE LOST NOW  
HEY, DADDY'S SOMEONE ELSE  
HEY, WE LOVE THE ABUSE  
BECAUSE IT MAKES US FEEL LIKE WE ARE NEEDED NOW   
BUT I KNOW  
I WANNA DISAPPEAR _

Willow looked and the stars through her French Windows. Her eyes were shining with tears**_. She walked towards the library to see if there were any new "nasties" in Sunnydale. Her class finished early. She couldn't wait to see Oz. She walked a little faster with a spring in her step. She opened the library doors. There seemed to be no-one there. She heard a giggle. Then she saw them. Oz and Buffy. Oz and Buffy kissing. They drew apart. They did not know anyone else was in the room. Willow stared horrified. Buffy giggled. "What about Willow, geek the girlfriend?" Oz smiled. "Willow who?" Buffy giggled again. "I love it when you say that!" Willow whimpered. Oz and Buffy turned and saw her. Willow could stand it no more. She ran out of the library with tears streaming down her face._**

The scene replayed in Willow's head over and over. She took a deep breath and tried to meditate to clear her mind. She couldn't concentrate. Hot, angry tears spilled over. She threw a picture frame with a picture of her, Buffy, Oz and Xander at her mirror, shattering her reflection. She screamed in anguish, her face screwed up in pain. Her parents were in Japan for 9 months. "I HATE ME. I HATE BUFFY. I HATE OZ. I HATE ME!" she screamed. "I hate myself so much. I hate myself." She sobbed.

Spike heard a scream. He smiled to himself. There was fun to be had.

Willow let out a fresh scream. She set fire to a photo of herself and Oz and threw it out from her balcony. She stood out on the balcony and screamed out her pain to the velvet night. Exhausted, she slumped against the rail and sobbed weakly.

Spike climbed with ease on to the balcony. Willow looked at him.

"I don't want games, Spike. I don't want you to turn me. If you want to do anything, kill me, but make it quick" Spike was taken aback. Although he rarely spoke to her, he knew all about the witch, as he called her. He knew all about the slayer's friends. He found it was useful.

Spike put on his trademark smirk. "Ahhhhhhh! Witchy's all teenage angst and suicidal! Doggy's gone and dumped her!"

"Shut up!" Willow shrieked. "Just kill me and leave my body where people are likely to find it before it rots!"

Spike raised an eyebrow. There was clearly something wrong. In spite of himself he began to pity her. He sat down beside Willow and turned to face her.

"What happened pet?"

I'll write more if I get at least 1 review. Don't care if it's a flame! Song was I wanna disappear by Marilyn Manson


	2. The Nobodies

Note to Satan'sslut-I only did that coz I wanted to see what other people thought of my writing. If someone hated it I could improve it and re-post it. I was not trying to be off putting. And it was not blackmailing! (At least in my warped mind)- Set season 3, but Spike is still in Sunny-hell, forgot to put it in my summary! Bad memory......

Today I am dirty â¢ I want to be pretty â¢ Tomorrow, I know I'm just dirt â¢ We are the nobodies â¢ we wanna be somebodies â¢ when we're dead, â¢ they'll know just who we are â¢ Yesterday I was dirty â¢ wanted to be pretty â¢ I know now that I'm forever dirt â¢ We are the nobodies â¢ we wanna be somebodies â¢ when we're dead, â¢ they'll know just who we are â¢ Some children died the other day â¢ we fed machines and then we prayed â¢ puked up and down in morbid faith â¢ you should have seen the ratings that day...

Willow stared at Spike.

"Why? Why should I? So you'll laugh, jump off the balcony, and walk off into the night, duster billowing behind you like you're, you're, in s-some kind of movie? Well, no. I-if you won't kill me, I'll just have to do it myself." Willow put on her "resolve" face.

Spike again raised an eyebrow. "Look, pet, if I kill you, which don't get me wrong, I am very tempted to do, it won't be fair. The only time I'd actually kill one of you "Slayerettes", is if Slutty's there, or if it's in my interest."

Willow looked puzzled. "You're a vampire. It's always in your interest."

"Yeah, but not right now, so spill."

She sighed. "I went to the library early. Oz a-and Buffy were kissing. Sh-she s-said "W-what a-about Willow, geek-the-girlfriend", and Oz smiled and said "Willow, who?"" Willow was sobbing by the time she had finished. Spike put his arm around her and murmured words of comfort, while tears fell on his leather duster.

Willow sniffed. "Thank you, f-for being nice to me." Spike smiled

"Anytime, pet. Oz doesn't know what he's lost." Willow stood up and invited Spike in.

Willow wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater. "It will be morning soon, and there's not enough time for you to go home."

Spike laughed. "I thought you would like the thought of me being dust!"

Willow shook her head vehemently. "No, not when you've been nice, and comforting, and...stuff."

"Where will I sleep?"

"In the guest bedroom. It's all made up already, so it'll be no trouble." Willow began to try to clear away the glass from her broken mirror.

"Ouch!" she gasped. She had cut her arm deeply, and it had begun to bleed.

"Here let me get that for you." Spike said, concerned. He walked into the bathroom and found dressings and anti-septic spray. He took her arm gently and wiped away some of the blood.

"This may sting a little." He sprayed some anti-septic, and tenderly began to dress the cut.

Hey! What did you think! Please review. Yes it is a Willow-Spike story


	3. Come as you are

Come as you are, as you were  
As I want you to be  
As a friend, as a friend  
As an old enemy  
Take your time, hurry up  
The choice is yours, don't be late  
Take a rest as a friend  
As an old enemy-a  
Memory, memory  
Memory

Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach  
As I want you to be  
As a trend, as a friend  
As an old enemy-a  
Memory, memory  
Memory

After Spike finished dressing her cut, Willow gave Spike a small, but somehow sad smile. _God!_ Spike thought._ Her smile is so beautiful. And her eyes...so green and deep. _

Willow found herself looking into Spikes eyes._ So blue, so endless. I could get lost in them. But lost in a good way._

Spike snapped them out of their little trance.

"So, how 'bout I give you a hand with cleaning this up, and then you can show me the guest room."

"Um..., 'kay" Willow mumbled.

Willow showed Spike to his room, and closed all the curtains in the house.

Spike climbed into the bed. Dru had been going on and on about her "daddy" for months. He was in serious doubt about if he loved her anymore. And then there was Willow...He kept thinking about her. _Fleabag didn't know what he gave up. If he hurts her again, I'll stick a railroad spike through his bits, and then I'll drink him dry....Whoa there Spike! Why am I thinking protective thoughts about Willow? Think Drusilla, my dark goddess...but Willow's eyes...._

Willow climbed into her bed. Silent tears crept down her face. _How could she? My best friend and my boyfriend...She knew how much he meant to me. And Oz....how could they have been so cruel? Why does everyone choose someone else over me? Xander, Oz. They both wanted Buffy, not me. What's wrong with me?_ Willow let out a sob.

Spike heard, and walked down the landing. He knocked on the door, and entered Willow's room. He walked to her bed and held her.

"Why doesn't he want me?" Willow asked looking up at him with tearful eyes. "What's wrong with me? I know I'm not beautiful like Buffy, or popular like Cordelia. I'm nothing. Just research gal."

Spike looked her in the eye. "Don't you ever say that. You are smart; you are much prettier than the slayer. I mean, her look will become ugly in five years. You will always be beautiful."

Willow was touched. "Thank you." She said softly.

As Spike stood up to go, Willow put a hand on his shoulder.

"Stay. Please." Spike turned around and wrapped his arms around Willow. He waited until she fell asleep. Only then did he close his eyes.


	4. Somewhere I belong

(When this began)  
I had nothing to say  
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
(I was confused)  
And I let it all out to find  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind   
(Inside of me)  
But all the vacancy the words revealed  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
(Nothing to lose)  
Just stuck/ hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own  
  
_[Chorus]_  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong   
  
And I've got nothing to say  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
(I was confused)  
Looking everywhere only to find  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
(So what am I)  
What do I have but negativity   
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me   
(Nothing to lose)  
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own  
  
_[Repeat Chorus]_  
  
I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
I will break away, I'll find myself today  
  
_[Repeat Chorus]_  
  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
Somewhere I belong

Willow woke up. Her alarm clock read 9:17. It was a Saturday, so she did not have to go to school. For a moment, she felt peaceful and calm. She then realised Spike was studying her closely, and remembered the events of the previous day.

"Mornin' pet" he said cheerfully (well, as cheerfully a vampire can be when talking about the daylight hours).

"Morning, Spike. Would you like some breakfast? Oh yeah, vampires don't eat..."

Spike cut her off. "Correction, pet. Vampires don't need to eat. I still do. I mean it would be impossible to live with out chocolate!" Willow let out a fake bray of laughter. Spike saw through it. "Still feel bad?"

Willow looked up at him with clear green eyes which were sparkling with tears.

"Oh Spike, it hurts too much. I want it to stop."

"The pain gets less, pet. It won't last forever, though it may feel like it will. It will get better."

"How can it? My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, and they were laughing about me behind my back! Why? Do I have a deformation or something?"

Spike shook his head. "The only answer I can give to you is Oz must be blind. He doesn't see how amazing you are. Buffy...is just an idiot. Peaches got down and dirty with her, and she stuck a sword in him and sent him to hell for a holiday!" Willow let out a giggle.

"Spike....do you really think I'm amazing?"

"You just don't see it, do you? You are beautiful in every way." He said softly.

Willow looked into his stormy blue eyes. It was strange...she felt closer to a vampire without a soul, than she did to Buffy or Xander at the moment.

Spike leaned forward, and softly kissed Willow on the lips. She pulled Spike towards her to deepen the kiss.

She suddenly broke away.

"No....what about Drusilla? She, I-I can't do to her what Buffy did to me."

Spike looked at her thoughtfully. He liked the fact she cared about everyone. Even about the feelings of an insane, evil, vampires.

"Dru...,she doesn't love me anymore. She wants Angelus back. Just last night, she came back with a Shilgoka demon. It's why I went out alone last night." Willow's face softened.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Willow asked, concerned and stroking his cheek.

"You had enough on your plate without my troubles." Spike answered.

"Oh Spike..."

"Yes, love?"

"I-I love you."

"You know what, pet? I love you too"


	5. Luchbox

"Y-you do?" said Willow with a slightly shocked, but happy look on her face.

"I do" said Spike solemnly. Then he broke out into a smile. "What say you to an evening of merriment at the Bronze tonight?"

Willow smiled too. "I'd love it! Oh my god, I have just the thing to wear. You'll love it, I promise" Willow was cut off by the shrill ringing of her phone. "Ooh, I'll just get that"

She picked up the receiver. "Hello? Willow Rosenberg speaking...Buffy! No I don't want to talk...You were kissing Oz, that's why, you blonde bimbo ("No offence" she mouthed to Spike. His smile got wider.). You were my best friend._ Were_ being the operative word, by the way. And F.Y.I, I'm with someone new...Yes I am. No, I'm not lying. No, he's not a rebound. Yes he exists! Why should I prove something to you? You know what? I will prove it-Oh Spiiiiike!" She said the last two words in a sing-song voice.

He took the receiver. "Hello there! Yes I am dating Willow. Is that any of your business? I love her. Yes I do. Who are you to tell me how I feel...I would never hurt Willow...To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase, HELLO?! You were playing smoochies with her then boyfriend! She was bloody suicidal...How do I know? She bloody well told me to drink her dry! Fact of the matter is you hurt her very badly. And now you're just jealous that she's been able to get over some of the pain you and flea-boy inflicted on her. Now if you excuse us, we have some very girly bonding to do."

Willow giggled when Spike mentioned "smoochies" and "girly bonding". It seemed out of character for a vampire of Spikes stature to say such "fluffy-cotton-candy-esque" words.

"You really mean it? W-we're dating?" Spike nodded.

Willow squealed in his highly sensitive vampire ears, as she gave a hug with the strength of rugby tackle.

"You're just gonna love my outfit" She whispered.

####################################

Willow and Spike were at the Bronze. She wore a long black gypsy skirt with ruffles going down from her knees. She also wore a red tank-top and a badge which read "You say WITCH like it's a bad thing".

Although there was not much skin on show, all eyes were on her. _Unlike Buffy_ she thought, _I don't need to flaunt my flesh!_

They were talking about Spike's life in the Victorian times, when the opening chords of "Lunchbox" came on.

"Oh Spike, I love this song! Let's dance!"

"I didn't think you were into Marilyn Manson." Spike said, surprised pleasantly.

"It's just I can identify a lot with this song.

They moved on to the dance floor.

_on we plow  
the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest  
try to tell me, tell me he's the best  
but I don't really give a good goddamn cause  
I got my lunchbox and I'm armed real well_

_I got my lunchbox and I'm armed real well  
I got my lunchbox and I'm armed real well  
I wanna grow up  
I wanna be a big rock and roll star  
I wanna grow up  
I wanna be  
so no one fucks with me  
I got the pencils in my pocket, try to put me down  
wanna go out, gotta get out  
to the playground, gonna throw down at the playground  
I wanna go out  
next motherfucker gonna get my metal  
next motherfucker gonna get my metal  
next motherfucker gonna get my metal  
next motherfucker gonna get my metal  
pow pow pow, pow pow pow, pow pow pow, pow pow pow  
I wanna grow up  
I wanna be a big rock and roll star  
I wanna grow up  
I wanna be   
so no one fucks with me_

Their dance was light-hearted and enjoyable. When they got back to their table, Willow was laughing.

"That's true, you know"

"What is, pet?" Spike loved to be with her. She was always surprising him.

"I mean the song. My mom sent me off with a pat on the head and my lunchbox to face the big, bad, playground. When I'd come back with bruises from being bullied, she'd say how it was an essential part of my childhood, and how I'd grow up better for it. Then the next day, she'd arm me with my lunchbox again, and send me on my not-so-merry way."

Spike looked at Willow with understanding. He had a rough time at a top Victorian boarding school.

They danced a few more times, before Buffy and her entourage entered.

Buffy walked straight up to Willow. She looked her up and down with a look of disdain. Oz, Xander and Cordelia hovered near her with similar expressions. Willow struggled not to laugh, cry, or bitch-slap Buffy. The latter was the hardest temptation to fight.

"Well, well, well. Wasn't woman enough for Oz, so now you're what? Dating the most pathetic vamp in history? The same (and I use this term loosely), man who got dumped by an insane parasite who talked to her dolls?" Spike growled at Buffy, who sneered in return.

Willow started clapping slowly. "Awwwwwwww!" Willow said patronizingly. "Buffy latched on to her best friend's boy-friend because her first love was killed by her! Watch out Oz, you could be next! And F.Y.I, I don't have to get into a childish argument about who's more woman. You're obviously more baby if you feel the need to put me and the man I love down the night after I saw you making-out with Oz! How extremely mature of you!"

Suddenly Buffy punched Willow in the lip. Spike rushed to her side.

"Buffy, I may not have slayer strength, but I'm stronger than you mentally" said Willow calmly, dabbing at her split lip with a napkin. "Buffy, I've managed to get over Oz, and fall in love in 24hrs, skipping the brooding for months part. I've managed to stand up to you, even though you could kill me in a heartbeat. And most of all, I've managed to not throw up when looking at your repulsive face!" Spike let out a bark of laughter.

"Hey, Spike, wanna go someplace else? I think we've seen all this place has to offer."

Spike put his arm around her waste and lead her out of the club, leaving in his wake the three stooge gawping at them.


End file.
